5 Do’s to Change Anything
Do you want to know what the secret is behind changing anything? (Hint: it’s not willpower!)
…Self-Awareness
Why self-awareness? If this sounds too woo-woo- take a minute to see if any of this resonates…
Self-awareness is the difference between mindlessly going about the day…to noticing how you’re feeling as you go about the day. Why would that make such a big difference?
Before I give you the top 5 list… a few things about self-awareness. It includes things like noticing when you have a physical response to something going on around you or to feelings that you have. For example, I may feel a lump in my throat, my pulse speeding up, and my face getting flushed when I am stressed about something. What is different is that
I notice the way I am feeling.
That’s it. If this seems way too simple- well it is. Simple and yet strangely elusive. You see for so long, I thought it didn’t matter what I thought about how I was feeling, I thought my feelings were ME. Sound familiar? Actually, feelings are just feelings. Thoughts that are going through my mind. These thoughts and feelings seem so real that it’s easy to mistake them for who I am, not for what they really are. Thoughts. Just thoughts, like weather patterns, sometimes sunny or cloudy, rainy or full-on blizzard.
On this journey of life, we are faced with so many challenges and stresses. Sometimes the most difficult thing we have to deal with is how we handle our feelings about ourselves. Through simple questions to myself, I can gently and lovingly turn my care inward, just like I would do for a friend or my child. For example, it could play out like this: “I notice I am feeling stressed and I just want the stress to go away.”, so at that moment I do some slow and low *box breathing, and think to myself: “I breathe in peace, I breathe out stress” (or pain, or whatever feeling I am feeling).
So what does self-awareness have to do with changing anything?!?
It has everything to do with your inner conversation with yourself because your care for yourself is all about 2 things:
1. You are inherently valuable.
2. It is in your loving relationship with yourself that energizes your intentions for all that comes next (healthy habits of any sort)
One important aspect of this self-awareness journey?
It’s not about perfection, it’s about progress. Really.
I used to feel a constant internal battle going on about believing that it was all about ‘willpower’ and that I didn’t have any. It was exhausting. I felt helpless to change. We are all unique and have different kinds of stress that may cause us to react in different ways, but I think we can all agree that stress is at the root of the trouble.
The reality is, in order for me to change anything at all, ever, I have to have an ongoing relationship with myself…in other words, self-awareness.
During my long battle with cancer, I became self-aware in a new and traumatic way, where the body that worked, was now broken. I was desperate to control something when everything was out of control. The only thing I felt I could control was what I put into my body. Nothing like a health crisis to get your attention.
“Food is thy medicine.” - Hippocrates
Cancer jerked me out of my UN-selfawareness, and onto a path toward tuning into my mind body in a new way. Every small awareness turned into an intention and gradually I have wandered down this path that has led me here, talking to you, about my journey and helping you on yours. There is no magic bullet, but there is a path to the desired shifts you want in your life. The Happy Healthy Yummy Cook-up is a completely accidental discovery- nothing that I set out to do. It isn’t a fad diet plan or anything even close, it is a simple, authentic organic approach to food and life that I have learned along the way through self awareness and intention.. One that leads toward better health and freedom. No matter what change you want to make, it all begins with self-awareness.
Here are my Top 5 Do’s to tap into self-awareness:
Do: Journaling. I know, I know - this little tool seems like it couldn’t possibly be the way to start, but I am going to suggest this as a way of hearing what you have to say to yourself. What is going on for you? If you are new to journaling, start small and do your best to show up honestly. I like to type. When I wake up I like to go to my journaling document and type while I look out at the beauty of the day. I don’t correct anything. I just type and it is a big mess. I look so forward to my morning brain dump! I grab a cup of coffee and sit down with my computer before I try to do anything else. The point is that I am able to just dump everything out on the page and not worry about what it looks or sounds like. If you are afraid that someone might see it, then you could just erase it when you are done! The important part is that you are honestly expressing yourself- no holds barred. Let your thoughts be free. Free-write for as long or short as you would like. Give yourself permission when you feel resistance pop up.
Do: Accept yourself as is. You are whole and beloved as is. Recognize that you have value and resources within yourself available to you at all times.
Do: In your journal list one thing you would like to shift in the day ahead. Just one. Don’t make it a big deal. Just think of one thing that you would like to shift in a small way. It could be anything at all that would help you feel better. Maybe take a walk, nap, call a friend, or eat something nutritious for breakfast. See what comes up for you when you consider this idea. Most of the time we have something we have been putting off doing because we feel like we have to do it perfectly…resist this. Progress, not perfection.
Do: Expect well-meaning loved ones to say or do things that sabotage your efforts. Knowing this in advance will help you to smile at yourself knowing that you are moving the needle and that feels uncomfortable for others around you who don’t want you to change because that possibly feels threatening to them. Don’t let this discourage or dissuade you. Just gently take your own hand and lead yourself in the way that you know you need and want to go.
Do: Give yourself grace. Now that you are becoming more self-aware, you may notice that you talk negatively to and about yourself. When you notice this, stop and forgive the thought. In that moment re-frame it and recognize that you are doing hard things that take courage. You are showing up for yourself in a new way by listening to what you are saying to yourself. Replace that now with a supportive statement to encourage yourself - just like you would a friend or your child.
*Box Breathing is a fantastic tool for calming the mind and body. It is simply 4 steps:
breathe in (the lower lungs) through the nose for a count of 4
Hold for 4
Breathe out through the mouth for a count of 4
Hold for 4
